Featuring a trailer for *another* audio drama about HG Wells going off on time travel escapades: "H. G. Wells Has His Regrets" from Turpentine Productions. With preambulatory waffle from Robin about the current state of Untrue Stories, some upcoming treats, the Audio Verse Awards, and a few other shows I've been enjoying.
Find all episodes of H. G. Wells Has His Regrets on all the usual podcast sites, and more info at https://hgwellshashisregrets.wordpress.com.
Timestamps (mm:ss):
You can listen to nominees for the Audio Verse Awards at their nominee showcase at https://anchor.fm/audioverseawards, then cast your ballot at https://audioverseawards.net/vote/. The first round of voting is open until Sunday 30 October. It would mean a lot to us if you included Untrue Stories on your ballot.
Links to the other audio dramas I recommended:
A transcript of this content is available at https://untrue-stories.simplecast.com/episodes/hg-wells-has-his-regrets-trailer/transcript.
If you've enjoyed Untrue Stories, we'd love it if you could help us amuse more people by telling your friends about us, and/or leaving us a rating or review on iTunes, Spotify, Podchaser, Goodpods or your favourite podcast site/app—thank you!
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Robin can be contacted at robindouglasjohnson@gmail.com. Share and Enjoy!
[Untrue Stories theme music plays under the speech below]
ROBIN: Hello! This is Robin, creator of Untrue Stories. As you may have noticed, things have been a little quiet now we've finished our first season, which I hope you've enjoyed. Please continue to recommend us to your pals, drop ratings, everything helps. We've a couple of things coming up for Halloween. One is our special crossover episode featuring bitter karella's The Midnight Pals, a Hugo-nominated microfiction twitter account, appearing in audio for the first time. Wells and Orwell will be joining Mary Shelley, H. P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe around the campfire. That's dropping on Saturday the 29th of October and you can find a trailer right now in our feed. We're also part of an as-yet-unannounced collaboration with several other loosely related podcasts; more on that where the stars are right. And of course I'm having fun writing Season Two, which unlike Season One, I'm going to try and write and then produce.
I'm talking to you because I'd like to share a trailer-slash-mini-episode for another audiodrama, made by a completely different team, which also happens to be about H. G. Wells time travelling and interacting with other authors, although with a rather different approach. So if you enjoy Untrue Stories you may well also enjoy H. G. Wells Has His Regrets, made by the talented people at Turpentine Productions. That's coming up in a few minutes.
Before I get to that, a little announcement. Untrue Stories is competing in this year's Audio Verse Awards, and it would mean a great deal to us to have your vote. You can find the full list of nominees, which is very long and contains some amazing new and existing shows, at https://audioverseawards.net. I'm not trying to stuff ballots here—please listen to some other shows, vote for what you like. It's a ranked system so you don't have to pick a single favourite.
On that note, I'm going to take this chance to recommend a few audiodramas I've been enjoying myself.
Desert Skies is a beautiful show set at a gas station between planes of reality. It's mysterious, moving, funny in exactly the right proportions. It has a diverse and talented cast of actors which after listening to several episodes I learned was one ridiculously talented person.
Wireland Ranch is a narrated weird fiction/urban cosmic horror—I'm not sure how you would classify it, but it has a lot to say and says it through an utterly berserk style of storytelling.
And Echoes (in) Between is a science fiction serial that starts as a mock-podcast, turns into an X-files-esque investigative journalism plot, then twists and turns through several genres of sci-fi, which I couldn't list without spoiling it, but the twists are always natural and surprising without feeling arbitrary.
I'll drop links to all these in the show notes, and I will leave you with today's featured trailer. Share and Enjoy.
[Untrue Stories music stops.
The remainder of this transcript is the script of the H. G. Wells Has His Regrets trailer as supplied by Turpentine Productions.]
MINISODE 2:
RETURN OF THE TIME MACHINE
INT - SPADE HOUSE - WORKSHOP
There’s a tremendous banging and crashing as HG hunts around for something. We can hear him searching through boxes and tossing things aside.
HG
(yelling up the stairs)
Darling? Where’s my Time Machine?
JANE
(yelling back down the stairs)
What?
HG
Where - is - my - Time - Machine?
JANE
I, er, put it away.
HG
Where?
JANE
Why do you need to know?
HG
I need it!
JANE
Oh, no, don’t you even think about running off to interview authors. We’ve been planning this dinner for two months!
HG
The timeline is in danger!
JANE
My evening’s in danger!
HG
It’s for the greater good!
JANE
“Greater good”? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever going to get!
HG
Pleeaseeee Jane! It feels like almost five years since I last visited an author! I’ll go mad!
JANE
Can’t you go tomorrow?
HG
But I’ve got so many good questions to ask the authors now - if I go tomorrow I’ll have forgotten them all!
JANE
Well, that as may be, but you’re always late when you get back.
HG
I’ll programme it to return in an hour’s time - it’ll be like I never even left!
Pause.
JANE
Fifteen minutes!
HG
Forty-five?
JANE
Half an hour, and not a second more.
(pause)
And I want you to help with dinner.
HG
Done!
(meekly, after a pause)
So... where did you put it?
JANE
(sigh)
It’s under the cover at the back of the workshop.
We hear H.G. pull the dust cover away, revealing the Time Machine.
HG
Aha! Thank you, dearest!
(to the Time Machine)
Now, let’s get you some exercise, hm? How do you feel about the late Victorian period? Ought to be fun trying to avoid an accidental paradox...
Over the above, we can hear him adjusting the Machine, pulling levers, tightening screws. Then he puts it into gear, and the exit noise begins.
JANE
Don’t forget, Herbert - half an hour!
HG
I won’t forget, dear!
JANE
And I expect to hear absolutely everything about Wilde and Coleridge, you understand? Don’t leave anything out!
HG
I’ll tell you everything!
JANE
Have fun, then - see you in thirty minutes!
HG
Goodbye, dear - see you th-
He is cut off, disappearing with the time machine.
END EPISODE.
CREDITS
This podcast was brought to you by Turpentine Productions. You can find us on Tumblr (at Turpentine Productions), Twitter (@hgwellsregrets), and Facebook (at H.G. Wells Has His Regrets).
Or check out our website: www.hgwellshashisregrets.wordpress.com
This bonus episode of H.G. Wells Has His Regrets was written and produced by Francesca Mylod-Ford.
Music by Emily Hancock and Joash Kari, and sound design by Francesca Mylod-Ford
This show was created and executive produced by Emily Hancock.
H.G. Wells was voiced by James Carpenter
Catherine “Jane” Wells was voiced by Georgia Fisk
H.G. Wells Has His Regrets will be returning for a final round of adventures on the 1st of November, 2022. Make sure to set your watches and prepare your Time Machines!
Thanks for listening.